Sunday, February 26, 2012

superman

Sometimes I wish I were Superman. Like when I brush my teeth. To me, I know it's good for me and I do take the time to do it properly (so don't cringe) but I'd just as soon not have to spend even those few minutes doing it. If I were Superman I could do that in fast motion and be done in just a few seconds.

Same with taking a shower, or just getting ready for work in the morning. Plus I could fly to work and not have to deal with traffic jams. 

Did Superman's hair grow?  Because I was wondering if he ever had to get a hair cut. If so, how did the barber cut his hair?  Or was his hair not the same as the rest of his body and it could be cut like anyone else's hair?  Or did his parents thoughtfully include a pair of scissors when they shot him to Earth from Krypton? 

It wouldn't take me very long to type these blog entries, either. 

Saturday, February 25, 2012

what's in a name

Yeah I know it has been a while... I just haven't had the time or inclination to really write anything. During the day I will come up with what I think are compelling things to write about but when I get home the batteries in my brain have all been drained and I don't feel like writing.

But here's just something quick..

I was thinking about how celebrities make such a hoopla over their babies - like giving them ridiculous, weird, fancy or unusual names, and going over the top by selfishly taking up entire floors of hospitals to turn giving birth into a real event. 

Well, here is really the most fantastic name you can give your baby, and it is a unisex name at that:

One

Yup, name your baby "One."  What could make anyone more important than that? Right away, it tells everyone, back off, because I am first priority. I am one. 

Now to make it even more special is the way it would be pronounced.  Like this:

"O-Nay." 


So some dimwit is going down the list reading off the names and ignorantly calls out, "One!" (as in "won") and then jokingly says, uh, did your parents intend to name you "Juan?"


Then that person can be firmly and confidently corrected. "Excuse me, but the name is O-Nay. In the future, please respect that."


Later at dinner that night the humiliated person can give a recount of the day to his understanding wife.  "Sharon, I was so embarrassed today."


"Uh excuse me, that's Shar-rone."


"Not 'Shar-ro-nay?'"