black friday

One thing I feel very good about is that I am not going to be one of those crazy people waking up super early (or nowadays, staying up super late) to take my life into my hands trying to get a Black Friday deal. Nope, no risking getting trampled, crushed to death, maimed or jumped or whatever. If you are one of the poor fools doing this, more power to you, haha.

Not content with Black Friday, many stores are resorting to opening not only at the strike of midnight when Friday begins, but eating into Thanksgiving when everyone is still supposed to be literally eating, and beginning their sales on Turkey Day.

You know what one wise store ought to do is this:

Have a Black Saturday sale. Put all your bargains up for sale on the Saturday before Thanksgiving and beat all the other suckers to the punch. On Black Friday people are psychologically tortured trying to decide which store they should visit first, or how to best allocate their time. Take all the stress out of it for them by being the only store smart enough to have your biggest day of the year on the Saturday before T-Day, all to yourself. You clear out your shelves, ring up the registers, rack up the profits and have a bunch of happy employees who don't have to work miserable hours on Thanksgiving or the day after.

Of course, the following year there will be a bunch of copycats and what will happen is that Black Friday will get earlier and earlier until you eventually have next year's Black Friday sale this year.