Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Spin

Have you noticed how some folks have put a spin on some rather mundane things and fashioned them into products commanding lots of money because of that spin? When we grew up (or at least when I did), tennis shoes or sneakers were tennis shoes or sneakers and there was nothing fancy about them. I think Adidas was the first real brand that tried to differentiate itself from the others. Stereo cables were just stereo cables, not Monster brand.

I figure heck, why don't I do my own spin and market a high-tech version of a mundane item? To that end, I would like to introduce:

INFINERGY ION FISSION LACES

You runners out there will definitely appreciate this breakthrough development!

The result of extensive studies in foot motion and body chemistry, the new INFINERGY ION FISSION LACES channel the molecular structure of your feet and shoes to work together to ensure synchronization of your feet and leg motion with the gravitational bands surrounding the earth, as well as the ionic timbre of your running shoes to literally enable you to navigate the time/space continuum and stride into infinity.

You will feel renewed vigor and a sense of ease as you fly past other runners who struggle against the effects of a mismatch between the earth's gravitational pull and the molecular structure of their bodies, while you have been freed from these chains because of the INFINERGY ION FISSION LACES.

Along with the LACES, which are composed of a superior strength, super light but 100% organic material (except for the focusing tips on each end which are made from a proprietary elemental blend to both focus the molecular energy plus concentrate it where it is most needed), we also provide you with the INFINERGY ION FISSION REJUVENATING DOCK.

Simply wrap your INFINERGY ION FISSION LACES on the dock as shown each night to amplify and condition them to peak form again.

Note that the LACES are directional so put them on your running shoes accordingly. The LACES, while of superior heavy 10 gauge material, are completely flexible and will not harm your skin or the environment.

While you will note a fabulous change right off the bat, we advise a break in time of at least 2,500 hours to enable the iambic pentameter of the core structure to solidify in a harmonious fashion.

We are sooooo sure that you will experience a burst of energy like you have never experienced before - we like to say it is like a 50 lb. veil has been lifted from your back - that we will allow you to try these out for 30 days. If you are not satisfied, return them for a full refund, minus the shipping charges, of course.

Now we get to what you are probably curious about - the price. What price is priceless? We really can't put a value on something so invaluable, but if you insist, we will send these to you for what you will agree is a most reasonable sum of $898.50 plus a modest shipping charge of $25 to cover the actual cost of our labor and materials and value added profits.





No comments: