Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Moving On

After pondering things a bit more, I've decided to drop my idea of a class action lawsuit against the stapler companies. I was influenced in part by the comments left by "Anonymous."

My first inclination was to open a staple repair business. People with oneseys and twoseys would mail their stapler to me and I would fix it with some WD-40 and secret ingredient. And I would do on-site repairs for volume jobs.

But an even better idea came to me - I am going to open up StapleMaster School of Staple Repair. People looking for a staple, er, stable career can be pioneers in this soon-to-be lucrative vocation, earning their CST designation: Certified Stapler Technician.

I figure that's better having a school. If I ran a repair business, it might be hard finding any customers until people caught on to what a useful idea that was. Meanwhile, I can instead charge students fees to become certified and then it's up to them to find a job out there.

Once I get established, then I'll initiate that class action lawsuit. Gotta do things in the right order, you know!

Maybe I will call it United School of Staple Repair instead..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lots of stimulus money in your proposed school. You have to use the right acronyms though. The big bucks are in CTE. That's career technical education. Since its a manual stapler its GW or green washwashabe so use terms like sustainable development, carbon offsets, clean technology, renewable, environmentally safe, energy-efficient and 'carbon neutral. I do when I write my grants. I am not above using CFC free even though they have been banned for 20 years. A few years ago I used PCB free and had lots of people really worried about PCBs in their florescence ballasts. I was laughing at myself but they hired guys in moon-suits and respirators to remove them.

Sad to say that the really big bucks are in getting the students to take out federally insured loans.