Saturday, March 6, 2010

Class Action Suit

I ran out of staples in my stapler today. I notice that when it gets to the end of the strip of staples, the last two or three tend to come out crooked and it doesn't staple properly.

When I put in a new strip of staples, I always lose the first one because when I close the stapler, it pushes out that first staple, unused.

I looked at the staple box. Each strip has 210 staples. If I lose the last three, and lose the first on the next group, that is a total of 4 staples. That is 1.90476% of the strip that is unusable and goes to waste.

Therefore, it follows that for every dollar we pay for a box of staples, nearly two cents of it goes to waste because we are paying for something we can't use.

Does anyone out there know of a good class-action lawsuit attorney who works on a contingency basis? I think I am on to something here. This could be big. As far as I know, this problem is common to all staplers so we are talking action against every company that makes staples/staplers.

Let's say that this is a billion-dollar industry. We are talking about a potential settlement of $19,047,600 which, after the attorney fees and expenses, would be close to $190,047.60.

I feel this is worth pursuing. Receiving a coupon redeemable for a free strip of staples would be pretty good, and also let the industry know that such things are not to be taken lightly.

So who's in with me?


donna said...

You're a nut and my stapler works just fine with the first, last and middle staples. I have a PaperPro, Nano and a Swingline. What the heck are you using?

Rickie Miyake said...

I have a Swingline. And every single time it wastes staples! You must just be one of the lucky ones that doesn't have this problem. Well sorry, I am afraid you won't be able to participate in our class action suit, then. lol.. NO STAPLES FOR YOU!!

Anonymous said...

Here's the deal from a guy with a stapler fetish. When your stapler jams the issue is very similar to what happens in an autoloading firearm. The problem is static friction. Staples are loaded into the magazine and pushed forward by the follow block which in turn is pressed by the follow spring. There may be some friction there but I found that the big source of premature stoppages is the friction along the pusher rod and the pusher spring. Maybe that's why guns don't have these in magazines but they do have one or two depending upon the design for slides.

A drop of Breakfree CLP (cleaner lube protectant), Triflow, or even WP40 along the pusher rod will end your problems. Oiling your follow block sounds cool but leads to oil being transfered to the papers you are stapling.

Rickie Miyake said...

Well I guess you aren't going to be part of the class action suit either! If I tried to follow your solution I would probably wind up with oil all over my papers.. which might actually not be a bad thing because that brings up the possibility of a class action suit against WD-40 or 3-in-One.

Anonymous said...

You got me to look around at other people's staplers. My office mate has a Bates with a sticky pusher rod and sticky spring. I lubed it and it also has a misaligned anvil. I should have left it alone. Another guy has an electric and yet another guy has a Swingline 900001. It staples up to 100 pages. I have stapler envy.

You should lube your stapler with WD40. They are really rich from sales to all those guys that think its possible to fix anything with duct tape and WD40. They have the deepest pockets.