Monday, March 8, 2010

Anti-Social

If you are not much of a conversationalist, either by choice or not, but you are forced to go out to dinner with people, here is my advice:

Go to a Chinese restaurant.

The usual one will be so noisy that you won't have to worry about holding up your end of the conversation.

If someone says something to you, you can either (1) pretend you are responding by moving your mouth but not really saying anything; or (2) look at them and tilt one ear towards them and put your hand next to it to signify you can't hear what they are saying.

If you go the first way and the other person leans forward and tells you to speak louder, just keep doing the same thing but look more energetic as you do it. Finally, toss up your hands in exasperation and shake your head from side to side, then point at your neck.

If you go the second route and the other person keeps talking louder and louder, just keep motioning to your ear and frowning, then finally as in the other way above, throw up your hands in exasperation letting them know that no matter how hard you strain, you can't hear them.

Now, this doesn't work if the other person winds up yelling so loud that everyone else in the restaurant stops talking. But that is doubtful.. no one can talk that loud.

I hope that was helpful. Here's an observation I have from countless times dining at Chinese restaurants. Why, when there is a lazy susan on the table, do people put the serving spoons back on the plate so that they are hanging over the edge of the lazy susan?? Then when someone turns it to get a dish, the spoons end up either knocking over someone's glass or else falling off the plate. Yet, 99% of the people still keep doing this. That really bugs me!

Something else that bugs me is when someone takes it upon themself to serve everyone else at the table. They get a spoonful of food from the dish and then lean wayyyy over to the opposite side and have to pretty much toss the food that last little bit of the way in order for it to land on your plate. I know they are just trying to be polite, but why do they do that??? That's why you have a lazy susan on the table!! Some people get up and down so often doing this that it begins to resemble whack-a-mole.

Here's a loud talker:




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