Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Where's the Beef?

The answer to my title question is, it's in your house! Well, virtually, that is. Monday's Wall Street Journal has an article about an "Adopt-a-Cow" program sponsored by the Hare Krishna.

For $51 per month, you can feed a cow; $108 enables "special care for retired cows who can no longer breed or give milk." More from the plea: "In one selfless stroke, you are sending a valuable message to our children and to a troubled world which sees today's gentle cow as tomorrow's dinner."

For your contribution, you receive photographs as well as updates and an open invitation to visit your foster cow at its Moundsville, West Virginia farm.

It's like the appeals you see in magazines telling you how $X will provide support for a child in a third-world country. Only I don't recall these ads asking for $51 a month; isn't it a lot less? Well, I haven't seen one of these ads in a long time so maybe inflation has caused the figure to go up.

Now just exactly how do we know which cow is which? They could be sending everyone a picture of the same cow. Maybe they can add a personal touch by sending over a pint or quart of milk from your bovine as a way of saying thanks. Or down the road maybe a refrigerated truck will pull up in front of your house with packages full of steaks and roasts and other cuts. Yeah I know, that was sick humor but I couldn't resist.. in fact I can't stop.

Just think of the stuff you have in your house that you can have people save from extinction. In the upcoming days I will be posting pictures of some old clothes that for only $5 per month I will wash and iron ($10 if you want me to actually wear these items), and pictures of CD's that for $3 per month I will play on a regular basis.

Okay, well I really shouldn't make fun of such an admirable cause. If enough people participate and this really gets off the ground it will have a significant impact upon the fast food industry. No more super-size meals. No more Carls Jr. overkill. Portions will be back within reason.

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