Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dynamics

Normally I sit at my desk and munch my lunch but today a couple of coworkers and I planned to go out. One of them usually works from home, that home being way out in Rancho Cucamonga so I rarely see her but today she was here for a meeting and the two of us and another cohort decided it would be a good day to go to lunch together.

A little bit past noon I got up to go meet them. The woman in the office next to me asked, "You going to lunch?"

"Uh huh."

"Who are you going with?"

"Tammy and Jennifer."

"No one ever asks me to go to lunch."

"Uh, well, uh, you're invited too, if you want to go. You never go to lunch with anyone so I just assumed-"

"Where you going?"

"Corner Bakery -"

"I'll go with you! And I just happen to have these coupons for $3 off!" She waved the pile of coupons we had received in the mail. "I'll drive over there and meet you because I have to stop at my house for something afterwards." Then she picked up the phone, called Jennifer to let her know she was coming and that she had a "surprise" for her and Tammy.

I went to meet Tammy and Jennifer to drive over to the lunch spot. I explained what happened. "What could I say?" I pleaded my case.

"Why didn't you tell her that Mike was coming, too?" They said. She doesn't care for Mike.

"I didn't think fast enough."

It's not that we don't like this person or that it was an unpleasant lunch; you know how it is when you plan something and then things change at the last minute. You're expecting one thing and get another. The last-minute addition likes to, um, orchestrate things (i.e., control freak).

I thought about how this was a good example of group dynamics. The conversation would have taken a completely different route had it just been the original three of us.

Isn't that always the case, though? Think about how the tone of a group changes depending on who is there and who isn't. Like in high school with my good buddies - our conversation varied based on who happened to be there. And whoever wasn't there, well, that's the person we would talk about, haha.

Each person causes a shift in the direction, maybe slight maybe wide, but where you wind up from combination #1 is way different than where you end up from combination #2 or #3 or whatever. Everyone has a role. Think about your own gatherings or get-togethers and the influence of particular people.

Today's YouTube has nothing to do with the rest of the post. It's just a song that came to mind that I bet you probably haven't heard in a long time.










1 comment:

kmiyake said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no