Friday, January 16, 2009

Four Eyes

I had my annual eye exam the other day. I told my optometrist that all those "tests" get harder every year! Like the one where you look into a machine and you're click the remote whenever anything in the circle of vision appears to shimmer. I had enough trouble just trying to focus clearly, much less figure out if anything was shimmering.

Anyway, I ended up ordering a new pair of glasses. Now that same question popped into my head - shouldn't that be referred to in the singular since we are talking about one item? True there are two pieces of glass (actually no, it's not glass it is a polycarbonate structure that cost me $20 extra) but it's still one object. So does a person getting a monocle get "a glass?"

Unlike my current pair (I'll just give in and conform to standard usage) of glasses that have a thin wire frame because I wanted them to be unobtrusive, these have a thicker, dark-brown and black tortoise shell frame. It's hard to tell they are tortoise shell, though, because they are so dark that they look nearly solid.

I told the frames person that I wanted a more "studious and serious" look, which I think comes from being too influenced by people in the Korean dramas we watch. She brought out several samples and one of them really caught my eye so that was that - I told her I'd take it.

"How much extra is it over what the insurance covers?" I asked.


Well 28 bucks isn't too bad. But then by the time she got through adding this and that, like progressive lenses for old folks, polycarbonate lenses, scratch resistant coating, etc., and the deductible, the figure had shot up substantially.

Oh what the heck - it's been nearly six years since I got my last pair so on a per-year basis it isn't too expensive.

When I went to the counter to pay, the frames person had me try what I bought on for the girl who took my credit card. "Those look really good," she said.

"Thanks," I smiled.

Then the other assistant who works behind the counter came back and wanted to see what they looked like, so I put them on again.

"Ooh, nice," she told me.

I imagine that's part of the training for working in an optometrist's office: No matter how stupid the glasses look, always say they are marvelous. Haha, well, I did think they looked pretty good myself. They are more prominent than my old pair so maybe they will draw attention away from me and more to themselves. I'm still faced with the problem of having uneven eyebrows, though. I'm waiting for the day when someone invents frames that can compensate for that.

In the evening we went to Pizza Place California for dinner with our Bible study group. I took my 7th grade Foshay yearbook with me since my old nemesis from the tutorial room, Caroline, was going to be there. We got a kick out of the old pictures. Everyone looked at my picture, then at me and said that there didn't seem to be much of a resemblence. "You looked kind of chubby back then," is what they said. And they couldn't believe I had been that mean to poor Caroline.

Although everyone now calls her Carol, I find that since my discovery that we both went to Foshay I've begun to call her Caroline.

There goes another day in the life.. the glasses should be here in a couple of weeks and in the meantime I'm free from having to take any more of those increasingly difficult vision tests.

I tried thinking of songs that talked about glasses, and here's one from my Foshay days. I never could figure out these strange lyrics..

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